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Time creates wisdom – but it also creates responsibilities and complications – mortgage, kids, career, etc.All of this makes dating more and more complex as we get older. Still, most of them fail miserably, for the exact same reasons that I think Penelope is suggesting.
Since you’re ‘officially engaged’ according to him (you’re not, rest assured) then living together is OK. Remember, you’re not in the typical American relationship where people meet, date, live together, share a bed, then decide if they want to get married. His wife then becomes one of the women in his family.
My point in all of this is that if you withdraw, you will most likely get him to put in more effort, but that will only take you so far.
Ultimately, if you want a relationship to be as you want it to be, you need to be true to what you really want.
I wish I had all the answers and could guide everyone off into a land of never ending bliss. Women in the Arab culture are highly respected and taught to respect themselves. Expressing dislike for certain outfits or style of clothing you’re wearing.
But since that’s not reality I’ve decided to compile a list in hopes of answering some questions. Spends every night away from his home, doesn’t answer his phone, and finally calls at 6am claiming he was at dewaniya all night. Get used to it, you’re always going to be less important than dewaniya. Having intimate relations with you then either disappearing for a few days… Being intimate with a man before marriage is almost unheard of. He believes you should only look good for him, at home, behind closed doors.
Certain Western behaviors trigger certain Eastern thoughts. Throw on a bikini and tell him you want to spend the day at the beach. Yeah, he’s still protective but he’s also truly dedicated and loyal.